I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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