he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
