knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
