i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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