i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
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I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
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you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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