I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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