I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
