$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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