you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
