I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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