Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
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