everyone is single if you try hard enough
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize