Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
