I've blown a few things in my day
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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