3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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