Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
