better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
