I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
