The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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