This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
