Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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