Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
