If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i will never coherently bang her
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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