I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
