I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
