trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Is Oprah even human
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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