i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
