You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
