Grow some girl-balls and come out already
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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