hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
This is my gift to your gina
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
