Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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