This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
