the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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