drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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