im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
