Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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