ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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