No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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