Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
