Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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