Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
