Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The adults are the big ones right?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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