used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
