oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
