So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
