thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
