dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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