Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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