Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
