to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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