Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
