I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
