You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize