White coat. Heels.
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
