You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
