turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
