Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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