so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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