i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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