I cockslap morals
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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