Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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