The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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